Ringing in 2021 with Covid

Ringing in 2021 with Covid is not something I thought I would be doing to start a new decade. I am a Pastor of a Presbyterian Church in Las Vegas, Nevada! That's right - Sin City! Huge "job security" for me! By the way, our sin is no more pronounced, pervasive or perverted than the sin found in your city, town, or village. For the last two hundred and fifty-five (255) days I have led a Community Prayer Group on Facebook (www.facebook.com/groups/commprayergroup Come join us!) and for the past 255 days one prayer request has dominated - "Please pray for "So and So" who has Covid…" I have lost track of how many people I have prayed for who have contracted this awful and insidious virus since March. Most have recovered. Some have died. Even worse - some have died all alone in a hospital room surrounded by machines, not family.  How often we read in years past the obituaries where the opening line went something like this: "Surrounded by family and friends Bob went peacefully to the Lord..." Not anymore! A truthful obituary would read something like: "While family and friends held vigil in their homes, or in the parking lot of 'Said' hospital, while receiving intermittent updates from an overworked, overstressed, hospital staff Bob died." Did Bob die peacefully? No one knows because no one was there! Did Bob die screaming his lungs out yet not making a sound because he was on a ventilator? Did Bob die wondering if anyone gave a damn about him, his life, his pain, his loneliness, his fear? I don't know! I never will... For someone who has sat with hundreds of families who have lost loved ones this time around has been excruciating. I love walking into a hospital room, being recognized by the patient, seeing the warm smile crease on their lips, extending my hand to gently and firmly grip theirs offering full assurance I am here with you to share with you whatever you are going through - I am fully present! I love praying over a church member in the hospital. I love seeing their eyes close with mine and then to hear their raspy voice utter out loud with mine - Amen and Amen... I love kissing them on the forehead to show my love and compassion. I love gently caressing their hair as they are too weak to respond. I count it one of life's greatest privileges to whisper in the ear of dear friend, "Should Jesus come knocking on your door to bring you home, I am giving you permission to go." And guess what? Once permission is granted they are gone within forty-eight hours. And yet this privilege, honor and joy has been denied over the last ten months. On Wednesday, December 30th at 9:41 pm, the full sum of the year 2020 took one more cruel twist. The lady on the other end of the phone was courteous, professional, gentle and caring. This unfortunately was not her first rodeo. She said, "David I have the results from your Covid test from earlier today." I said, "Okay... what's the verdict?" She continued, "You have tested positive for Covid…" She went on to explain the proper protocols. Thankfully, Julie was there to hear them as my mind was reeling. I was not surprised. I had been feeling puny, achy, chilled and less than myself for the previous four days. But still... It's strange to sit here at 11:45 pm on New Year's Eve staring at the beautifully lit and decorated Christmas Tree and the clock inching its way toward midnight. It's strange because there is a virus inside my body trying to take me down. It's little tentacles reaching out grabbing and holding on to whatever it can. This virus has been very successful in many people. Will it be successful in me? I sit here not doing anything and yet realizing my body with its God-given immune system is fighting the battle of its life. And yet, here I am feeling like I am sitting on the bench watching the biggest game of my life being played out and all I can do is sit, hope and pray my body comes out victorious. In a few minutes I will be ringing in 2021 with Covid! Overall, I feel pretty good physically. No fever. No shortness of breath (I have a history of Asthma). Chills. Weakness. Yuckiness wins the day! Swirling around my head is a sense of "survivor's guilt." I have friends who have lost the battle to Covid. They have suffered greatly. Spent time in ICU. Have ridden the rollercoaster of being in ICU, then back to a regular room and then back to ICU, on to a ventilator and then transferred to the morgue. And here I am watching the Christmas Tree and the Clock while breathing with ease... Why me, Lord? Why am I not suffering more? Why is my Pastor friend Javier literally battling for his life after having been resuscitated, ventilated, induced into a coma and more all due to Covid? What a crapshoot! This drives me crazy. Covid brings to some mild symptoms. Some no symptoms. Some with life threatening side effects and then there's me sitting here watching the Christmas Tree and Clock with one caveat - I cannot smell a thing! I have found myself throughout the week praying, pleading and begging, "Lord, Oh Lord, Please Lord heal me, save me, uphold me." I scoff at myself as I gaze in the mirror looking at hollow eyes, feeling so desperate and so out of control. Part of me mocks my inner self - "Get a grip David! It's so unbecoming of you to be begging." And yet, within minutes I am begging and pleading all over again. So... Here I sit with 2021 cruising down my street, five minutes away from knocking on my front door, ringing in 2021 with Covid. Happy New Year! Jesus offers to me, to us these comforting words, "Behold, I am making all things new..." (Revelation 21: 5) I am looking forward to the "NEW"! How bout you? Grace and peace, Laugh often. Fear not. David!